


To Break a Man of Iron

by sluttytonystark



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Depression, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Peter Parker is Tony Stark's Biological Child, Sad, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-20 16:22:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18528715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sluttytonystark/pseuds/sluttytonystark
Summary: “Thank you all for coming today,” Tony had said, addressing the crowd, but he was not himself. He read from the cards, and conducted himself with all seriousness, no jokes or quips, and no silly indoor sunglasses. By any comparison, he was just another boring businessman giving a statement-- until he wasn't.“Two weeks ago,” he said, “I lost--”He drew in a shuddering breath, and his collected façade was quickly crumbling.“I-I lost my son.”





	To Break a Man of Iron

**Author's Note:**

> Lol I hate this, but this edgy ass bitch of a plot has been in my head for months and eventually I was like "you know what? fuck it, I'm going to be done with this thing once and for all." So I wrote this out. I'm not saying it's bad, it was just depressing for me.
> 
> Also, I had been playing around with the tenses, before going back and fixing them because they got a little funky, but there might be some words that should be in past tense but they're only in present tense. I don't have a beta, we die like women in this house.

The world would say they feared there was no coming back from this one after Tony Stark had broken down on live television for all the world to see.

 

Steve Rogers feared it from the start after he'd heard the screams.

 

Steve was a soldier. He'd fought in one of the bloodiest wars in history. He'd seen people die and he's seen the aftermath.

 

And then he became an Avenger, and death only followed him more.

 

He's fought the good fight, been up against aliens, robots, and terrorists. He's lived through bloodshed and fear, and he's seen children die and mother's cry.

 

_“Thank you all for coming today,” Tony had said, addressing the crowd, but he was not himself. He read from the cards, and conducted himself with all seriousness, no jokes or quips, and no silly indoor sunglasses. By any comparison, he was just another boring businessman giving another boring statement-- until he wasn't._

 

_“Two weeks ago,” he said, “I lost--”_

 

_He drew in a shuddering breath, and his collected façade was quickly crumbling._

 

_“I-I lost my son.”_

 

Steve Rogers blames himself entirely. Tony hadn't wanted Peter going on that mission.

 

_“I don't want my kid on an Avengers mission, Steve. Not until he's 18, and that's at the very least.”_

 

_But Steve had convinced him._

 

_“It's just a routine Hydra base take down, Tony. How long has he been training with us? Don't you think he should be able to put that training into action?”_

 

 _“He_ can _put it into action, as Spider-Man. Taking down petty criminals and saving cats from trees. He's not ready for the big leagues.”_

 

It should have been left at that, after all, who was he to argue with a father's instinct?

 

But it wasn't left there. And it _wasn't_ just a regular take down. It was more than that. Someone who had wanted revenge on the Avengers or even just Iron Man, and that made things harder, and the stakes higher.

 

It was yet another person who'd lost someone they hadn't been able to save. A man who had decided the best way to deal with his grief was to extract revenge-- by teaming up with Hydra of all people. And this was a  man who knew how to hit where it hurt.

 

_“Rogers!” The crazy son of a bitch had yelled, “Catch.”_

 

_And then something-- no, someone-- had been thrown at him, and the horror he had felt when he looked down and found he was holding the broken and bloodied body of his friend's son was unparalleled to anything he had ever felt before then._

 

_And then Tony had burst in with Natasha at his side and the bad guy started cackling like mad._

 

_“Cap! We're just about finished out here, did you find Peter?”_

 

_Tony's gaze ticked downward to see who Steve was holding, and his eyes went dark._

 

_“...Peter?” The father asked, “I-is he alright?”_

 

_“Tony…”_

 

_“Friday, run vitals,” the man snapped as he snatched the boy from Steve's grasp._

 

 _Steve didn't catch what the AI had reported back to him, but he could certainly guess, and he knew that Tony didn't believe what he was hearing-- didn't_ want _to believe._

 

_“Peter? Come on, wake up buddy.”_

 

_“Please, please wake up,” Tony pleaded, but the dead didn't listen to the living._

 

_“If it makes you feel any better,” the villain said, he died a little hero. It was… very annoying, to say the least.”_

 

_And then Natasha shot him. Three, four, five times-- through the chest._

 

_Steve flinched, but Tony didn't react, too wrapped up in trying to wake up the child._

 

_Natasha then placed a consoling hand on the man's shoulder, “Tony,” she said gently but firmly, “He’s not waking up, he’s gone.”_

 

_Tony shook his head viscously, pulling the boy closer, “No.” He grit out._

 

 _“No. No, no, no._ No!”

 

_And then Tony screamed, and it was a sound Steve knew too well, but hated hearing it from his friend, because now it was personal, and it hurt like a hundred thousand knives pricking at his skin._

 

_It was the sound of grieving._

 

_The cries attracted the other Avengers, who'd been getting antsy waiting, and when the others came rushing into the room, they knew immediately what happened._

 

_It's only Clint, the only other father in the group, who can make Tony move from where he's rooted himself to the ground._

 

_Tony's sobs filled the Quinjet as they flew back to the compound, and when they get home it would turn out that it takes a super soldier and an hour of coaxing from Pepper to convince him to let them take Peter’s body from him. When they do eventually get him to give him up, he screamed again. And again. And again._

 

_Steve decided he never wanted to hear another scream again._

 

The funeral is held a few days later. It's quiet, nothing big, just the Avengers and Tony's little family. The press doesn't even show up, (granted they probably didn't even know yet,) and Steve is glad, because he thinks that if someone had intruded, he'd kill them.

 

Tony doesn't make it through the entire eulogy. He almost makes it to the end, but he can't, so Rhodey finishes for him.

 

Rhodey keeps the closest eye on Tony. He was there when his parents had died, and Steve supposes he doesn't want to watch him go down that same path again, so he helps when Rhodey pours all the liquor down the drain.

 

Steve isn't sure if Tony just doesn't notice that they got rid of the alcohol, or if he just doesn't say anything. Doing the deed, Steve had been worried that Tony would fly into a fit of rage when he'd found out what they'd done, but be doesn't, and Steve wishes that he would've, he wishes that Tony reacted at all.

 

But Tony doesn't do anything. He keeps to his lab, and he stops sleeping all together. Steve knows that Pepper was growing more desperate with everyday that Tony neglects to care for himself.

 

_A week after the funeral, Steve walked into the kitchen to find Pepper half threatening-half pleading with Tony._

 

_“Tony, you haven't eaten in four days, you need to eat something. Anything.”_

 

_It was when Tony refused that she resorted to threats._

 

_“Tony, I swear to god, if you don't eat something, I will get Helen to hook you up to a feeding tube. I am not kidding.”_

 

_That got him to listen, and even if they both knew the measly sandwich that he barely managed to get down would eventually come back up, they were both allowed a small breath of relief. Just for now._

 

Stark Industries eventually releases a statement, and Tony is expected to comment at a press conference.

 

Tony doesn't make it far past, _“I lost my son,”_ before he starts panicking, and his legs look like they're threatening to go out. He’s led off stage, leaning heavily on Pepper, and Rhodey again takes over.

 

Tony had always been the perfect example of post-traumatic growth. When he was kidnapped and tortured in a cave, he created Iron Man to escape and became a hero. When he’d seen how his weapons were hurting innocent people, he shut down the weapons division, and moved his company towards creating things to better the world, not tear it apart. He’d flown a nuke into a wormhole and came bouncing back. Tony Stark was resilient, Tony Stark persevered.

 

His parents had been killed, and he’d thought he’d lost Pepper. He knew loss, he knew it too well.

 

But he had never lost a child.

 

Steve remembered when he was little, his mother would tell him that if she ever lost him, it would feel like the end of the world for her.

 

If Steve had to guess, he’d say Tony felt the same about Peter.

 

A month after it happened, Bruce suggested they act like he was on suicide watch or something like that after one too many close calls regarding Iron Man, and he'd gotten himself injured.

 

_“You’re being reckless and you know it!” Pepper had yelled, “It's like you're trying to get yourself killed.”_

 

_“Well it's not like I'm avoiding it,” Tony bit back._

 

_That left Pepper quiet for a minute, but then she whispered, “You're not the only one who's hurting, Tony. Stop trying to make us hurt more.”_

 

While Tony was in the Medbay for burns, some broken ribs, and whatever other injuries he had acquired during his last stunt, Pepper and Natasha somehow were able to rewrite Friday so that Tony couldn't get into the lab or get to any of his suits.

 

It would be easy for Tony to rewrite once he got his hands on a computer, but seeing as he was currently held up in Medbay, he was currently not in the position to do anything about it.

 

Steve and Tony didn't talk much in the past month. Steve, still faulting himself for getting Peter killed, and Tony too caught up in his spiral of depression to really make any conversation with anyone.

 

So when Pepper asks Steve to keep an eye on Tony, Steve isn't sure where to go from there regarding conversation.

 

Tony's reading a book while Steve sits nearby, but he isn't so sure that the man is really all that into the book considering it takes him about ten minutes to turn a page, and Steve has seen how fast that man can read, so he decides to strike up conversation.

 

“So…” Steve says, “How've you been feeling?” He flinches when the words leave his mouth, because he's pretty sure the answer to that question is fairly obvious.

 

Tony rolls his eyes, “Well, let's see,” he says, “I miss my kid, Pepper won't let me have my computer or my phone, my head is killing me, and everyone is acting like I'm about to kill myself.”

 

Steve rubs the back of his neck, “Right. Sorry.”

 

They lapse into an uncomfortable silence, and Tony picks his book back up, but his eyes aren't even moving across the pages, so now Steve knows for sure that he's not actually reading.

 

“You wouldn't _actually_ try and hurt yourself. Would you?”

 

He gets no answer.

 

“...Tony?” He prompts, and the other man sighs.

 

“You already know that answer. What, do you want me to lie to you?”

 

“Would Peter want that?”

 

“Peter's dead.”

 

The words are cold. They snake around his heart and they twist up his insides so bad that it almost hurts to breathe. Logically, he knows that Tony isn’t accusing him of anything, but the guilt has been eating away at Steve for weeks, and he can’t help but imagine that he heard blame in the man’s tone.

 

“I’m sorry,” Steve says.

 

“For what?”

 

“I’m the reason Peter’s dead.”

 

Tony blinks, “Did _you_ shoot him?”

 

“No, but--”

 

“Then it’s not your fault.”

 

“He wouldn’t have even been there if it weren’t for me.”

That causes Tony to pause. He reflects quietly, and then nods.

 

“You’re right. He wouldn’t have, but that didn’t make it your fault. If anything, it’s my fault for allowing it to happen.”

 

Steve frowns.

 

“By your logic you could also say it was his own fault he died. I mean, if you did, I’d strangle you… But he was supposed to be on perimeter, a-and that was his problem, he could never listen, he heard people who needed help so he went. He was too kind. Too good.”

 

Tony’s voice falters towards the end, and Steve is afraid he’ll start crying.

 

“I just keep thinking of ways I could have prevented it-- if I had just been there sooner, if I noticed that he’d left his position earlier, if I just fucking left him at home. And Jesus, Steve, I just miss him, I miss him so much.”

 

Steve isn’t sure what to do when your teammate starts breaking down in front of you-- he was useless back at that base, and he felt useless now, so he puts a hand on Tony’s shoulder and lets him ramble.

 

“I feel like everyone is expecting me to come bouncing back, brush it off and keep going. But I can’t do that. I always felt like the world was crumbling around me before, but now? It’s just so much _worse_. I don’t know if I’ll ever come back from this.”

 

“Well, it’s only been a month,” Steve says.

 

Tony shrugs, “I don’t know if it’s just the crazy talking, but I don’t _want_ to move on. I feel like it would be betraying him.”

 

Steve nods. “Well,” he starts, “I don’t think you’re supposed to just move on, not completely. You accept it and let it stop hurting. But there’s always going to be some of that grief that stays behind, it sticks around and it never lets us forget. But you knew that already. We’re the Avengers. Losing people is just as much our business as it is saving people.”

 

 Tony stays silent for a moment, and then:

 

“You know, sometimes I forget how old you are, and then you say some wise shit like that and I’m like ‘Oh yeah, he’s a fucking dinosaur.’

 

Steve laughs, and for the first time in weeks, Tony smiles.

 

It’s a starting point not an end. Things were going to get worse, but they would also get better. Slowly, but eventually. There would be tears and anger so strong, it was blinding. This also would not be the last time they’d have to prevent him from hurting himself.

 

But there would come a time where the good days outnumbered the bad, and time might not heal all wounds, but it had a knack at making things better. And one day, that’s how it would be. Not perfect, not painless, but better, as all things were.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y'all liked this bullshit
> 
> Tumblr: godilovethem


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